090809 Mi Retrato en Chino

WTF why does it always have to be this way, will I ever learn ANYTHING?! of course I could talk and figure out where I'm standing and exactly what the fucking fuck is happening... but of course, I LOVE to suffer... LOVE IT, I feel so fucked up! so so much... I can't think clearly and I can't even talk, I hate when I don't have any other chance to express some last things, "you are so stupid person", for example... I just wanna cry, at this point I don't know why I always come back if I don't like you anymore ... I feel so frustrated and so mad and sad and everything.... for the first time ever I don't want to wait and see what happens, but I don't know how to proceed...fuck this fucking situation... FUCK IT.